i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
