we made out on top of his cat.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
