So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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