very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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