There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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