At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
