does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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