She just used a chaser for red wine.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
