UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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