I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
