doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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