I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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