Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
worst night to have a conscience
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
