Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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