I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
