Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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