we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
