He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
