I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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