he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
