It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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