i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
