That's when you crack a 10am beer
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
