I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
