would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Quick, to the slutcave!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
