i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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