SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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