I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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