Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
