But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
