I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
