Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
