Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
