playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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