i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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