Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
