i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
