these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
