ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
