He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
