I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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