FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
