I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
