Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
