What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
