Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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