she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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