didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
