You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
