Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
