You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
