My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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